Why did you write Your Man is Wonderful? I didn't grow up with brothers. I had a Dad—a wonderful Dad, but my world was filled with women the first 16 years of my life. I went to an all-girls elementary school, which flowed naturally into an all-girls high school, where even the teachers were all women with two exceptions—the chemistry teacher and our tennis pro. It was only once I was in college that I experienced—men. At that point, I knew them as professors, classmates or dates, so here again, my knowledge base was very limited. As I entered the work world, however, my life became flooded with men, first as an acting coach, then as a psychologist and especially as a trial consultant. I feel tremendously privileged that I came to know men through their vulnerabilities, fears and insecurities as well as through their triumphs and camaraderie. I feel that having started with no particular prejudice regarding the male species, I was perhaps well suited to listen to men, for they do talk to me, at length and in detail. Somewhere along the way, I discovered that men are wonderful, and have gained immensely from this knowing. This is not to say that women aren't wonderful, for they are! On the contrary, the wonderful men spoken of in this book are blessed with the wonderful women in their lives. This book is my response to what I see as the inordinate amount of male bashing that exists in our culture, and to the parade of women who have walked into my office over the years lamenting the lack of wonderful men. So I have taken the benefit of what I've learned both personally and professionally about men, and tried to answer both the "where are all the wonderful men" question, as well as do my best to counter male bashing. Of course, there are rotten apples in the masculine lot—there are rotten apples in our female barrel as well.* I've not attempted to write the definitive book about men or about relationships, but rather addressed what has inspired me—that men are wonderful, and yours can be too. Who is this book for? Although Your Man is Wonderful is appropriate for anyone in or considering a relationship, it is especially useful for the following: You aren't in a relationship, but would love to be! You're tempted to bemoan the idea that there just aren't any good men out there. You've probably experienced some not-so-wonderful men and are seeking a relationship that will last. Your Man is Wonderful gives you the means to determine which men meet the wonderful criteria and which don't (and understand and accept that a wonderful man is NOT perfect, nobody is). You're newly married (or newly seriously committed) and you want to make the honeymoon last! The book offers you, through real-life examples and insights, how to start valuing your mate's differences, praising him, accepting him fully and making it safe for him to be himself, while respecting your own individuality. It provides suggestions on how to allow a best friendship to develop that will enable you and your man to live the honeymoon as time passes and love deepens, matures and grows. You're in a mid-to-long-term relationship, and you've had your share of ups and downs—you want less downs and more ups! Whether you are presently unhappy and want to get the relationship back on track, your relationship is generally good, but you are going through a rough patch, or you are satisfied with the relationship but want to make it even better, the book provides you with tools and techniques on how to make long-term relationships grow in joy and richness instead of stagnating into boredom or worse. I'm not in a relationship but I'd like a good one, can this book help me? Absolutely! Not only will Your Man is Wonderful help you determine which men meet the wonderful criteria and which don't (see "Who is this book for" above), but you'll also discover how to get a relationship going in a positive, appreciative way, so that you and your eventual mate bring out the best in each other, now and throughout the years ahead. What can I get out of it? Your Man is Wonderful shows you how to discover and support the wonderful in your man. As you do that, you automatically support the wonderful in yourself. With the help of this book, you will discover how to value the differences between you, value your own uniqueness; praise your man, learn to esteem value—including your own; accept your man as he is and learn to accept yourself as you are. You will learn how to encourage your man to live his dream, which encourages yourself to live yours. As you engage in your man's life, you will encourage him to engage in yours. As you do so, you make it possible for your man to see your wonderful and cherish it. He becomes inspired, motivated, to be your Prince, for you are treating him as such, and to treat you as his Princess in return. For nowhere is it more true that like attracts like, than in the land of relationships. Not who attracts whom—for people very different in likes and dislikes are certainly attracted to each other—but in the dynamic energy of a relationship. The true-life women's stories in the book make this point very clear. It is not the differences between us, but how we view those differences that make for joy or despair. What can you get out of Your Man is Wonderful? As you commit to discover and nurture the wonderful in your man, revealing your own wonderfulness in the process, you will create a continuous upward spiral of mutual love and respect, which can lead to what we so ardently desire, in our heart of hearts—to true and lasting love, that blissful Heaven on Earth. How is this book different from other relationship books? What sets Your Man is Wonderful apart from many other relationship books, first and foremost, is that it has as its foundation the stories of real-life women who have wonderful men in their lives, how it came to be so (not always easily!), and what that wonderful means to them in their day to day life. These stories form the heart of the book —only after the stories do I offer my guidance and suggestions for how to reveal the wonderful in your man. The women's stories let you know just how possible and available a relationship is with a wonderful man, the challenges they overcame and the joys that ensued. I then answer the "How do you achieve the level of happiness the women's stories inspire you to? What's the practical real world path to a wonderful man and a wonderful relationship?" questions that would emerge for any woman wanting a similar experience herself. Your Man is Wonderful sees men and women as partners in a relationship, finding joy and value in their differences. It describes ways of achieving fulfillment that have nothing to do with manipulation, micro-management, or self-denial, but rather rely on appreciation and genuine acceptance of each other. Is this book only for women to read? No! Most assuredly not, for men can learn a great deal about what women value in relationship from the women's stories, both about their men and how their men treat them. A man can adopt the approach suggested throughout the book just as easily as by women. I've chosen to address the woman's perspective in this particular book as a starting place in the conversation, certainly not the end point.